you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
