Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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