omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
