So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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