my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
