you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
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