I'd wear matching sweaters with you
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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