i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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