Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
