so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Will exercising make me less horny?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
