I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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