i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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