Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
