I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
