You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
