we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
