It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
