I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
