So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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