grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
