Have you finally orgasmed yet?
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
