I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
