I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
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The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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