i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
your room smells of hookers.
And success
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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