Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am puke
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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