I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
