I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
