Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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