ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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