belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
