Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
