The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
