My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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