Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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