He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
