if i can run in heels then i can drive
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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