I'm eating all of the evidence.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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