No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
