The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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