like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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