If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
