and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
