so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
