I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
