all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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