You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
