their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
