Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
