Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
