She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
