Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
