I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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