I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
