so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
