I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Buhtt sex?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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