I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My cat gives me a boner
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
