You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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