Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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