What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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