He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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