Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
